hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
