woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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