The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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