Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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