he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
