one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
