ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize