Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
