this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
