I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think my moral compass just broke
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize