Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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