im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
