I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
