i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize