I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
