i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
