After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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