Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
