Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
