feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
