you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
