But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
