cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
