your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
