Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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