I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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