i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
