We're like a lot better than the average bears
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
