Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
