I need help removing her.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
