He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
