The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
