i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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