You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
