best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
