I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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