tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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