yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
