Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize