dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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