We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
