found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
