i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
