ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
