If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize