its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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