Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
