i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
