I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
