cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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