My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
