I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize