I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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