I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The air taste purple.
Randomize
