what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
