Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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