he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We are two peas in an std pod
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
sex in a hospital.. check
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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