I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
